Mary keeps asking Jack for more information because she feels he's not giving her the complete picture. Jack keeps evading Mary's requests or provides incomplete reports because he feels she's going to use information against him. The more Mary asks, the more Jack evades. The more Jack evades, the more Mary asks.
Think of how often you've seen this or similar problems in the workplace. The two sides often demonize each other: "Mary's out to get me." "Jack's hiding something."
And their solutions? "I'll keep asking." "I'll keep stonewalling."
At the problem's core: A lack of trust.
What should Mary and Jack do? I'm guessing that each could drag out some past tale about the other - perhaps blown out of proportion - that they believe justifies the distrust. What breaks the cycle?
ReplyDeleteKathy,
ReplyDeleteThere are at least two approaches. First, they could sit down and openly discuss their concerns about what the other's behavior seems to be saying. That, in many respects, would be the ideal approach but both sides have to be candid and willing to avoid blaming the other. That may not be the case. A second approach is for one side to overcomply with the wishes of the other side. For example, if a boss seems to be micromanaging, rather than resisting the information requests, the employee should frequently give far more information. This breaks the cycle and may remove the boss's fear that information is being withheld. Daily briefings on progress may give the boss a greater sense of control and eventually reduce micromanaging as it becomes evident that matters are well in hand. Conversely, the person who requests the information may choose to break the cycle by backing off and making it clear that the project will be the other person's "baby." That may inspire greater coordination.
One thing is clear: Continuing the unproductive cycle doesn't work.