Health Update

Larry Doyle, writing in The New Yorker, reviews customer testimonials from Dr. Goodbody’s Total Goodbody System:

$750 for a thirty-day supply? That’s $25 a pill. Isn’t that a lot of money?
—J. Lowell, Charlottesville, Va.

Not when you consider that that comes to just about a dollar an hour—a dollar for an hour free of all your pains and complaints. Wouldn’t you pay a dollar to feel like a million bucks? You’d have to be crazy not to.

And it’s not merely a “pill.” Each Dr. Goodbody’s Total Goodbody System™ daily bolus contains the entire line of Dr. Goodbody Solutions™, including ColoRooter™, BloodFlush™, TumorStopper™, and several other remedies that are no longer available in most states. That’s why each pill weighs nearly three ounces, and why we recommend that you take it with eight glasses of water and the supplied lubricant.