Career: An odd term that indirectly attributes planning to a process that is seldom planned.
Diversity: A program that strives for all varieties but the intellectual.
Job description: A florid paper written by employers to describe a job; not the one that it is supposed to describe, of course, but a job somewhere.
Memorandum: A note with an ulterior motive.
"Other duties as assigned": The most accurate phrase in the job description.
Performance evaluation: One of the most common forms of fiction. It usually contains truth about all things except performance.
Promotion: An event that shoulders the recipient with heavier responsibilities, longer work hours, and more adversaries. It is greatly desired.
Secretary: A person who knows the real organization chart.
Termination: An interaction between two parties in which at least one side experiences the joy of liberation.
Training: A process of workshops and seminars in which everyone below the executive level is educated. Executives are educated via osmosis.
Perhaps this could be the start of a "Manager's Dictionary." Ambrose Bierce would be SO pleased!
ReplyDeleteWally,
ReplyDeleteI'm very tempted to do just that.
And then I can head for Mexico.
What is An Attitude? I one time found a job ad where they wanted somebody "who has An Attitude" but did not define what attitude they wanted, as if An Attitude is a codeword for what they want, similar to how "responsible" is the codeword for somebody who has minor children to support.
ReplyDeleteMichael R. Cole mc5w at earthlink dot net