Musings on the Self-Centered and Insecure

For years I confused self-centeredness with conceit.

This failed to explain, of course, people who are enormously self-centered but also suffer from strong feelings of inferiority. It can be baffling when a person who continually considers the world from the standpoint of Me, Myself, and I can also be insecure but it seems they make a numerous tribe.

The self-centered person who is not conceited can pose special problems because whereas there can be a certain justice in countering the conceited, matters get more complicated with a person whose self-esteem is already afflicted. These folks can be even more demanding than the conceited but the relative victimhood accorded by their insecurity becomes a shield; indeed, their insecurity is often the only characteristic that is seen even though it may not be the predominant one. Self-centeredness may govern.

The problems they have with others, however, often stem more from their self-centered nature than from any feelings of inferiority. That brings us full-circle for the odd combination may be a form of conceit.

Nowadays there is considerable status in the role of the victim.