Ages

• Teenage and younger: You're immortal and people who are 30 are flat-out old.
• Twenties: You're just starting out. Still partying and looking good.
• Thirties: You are not old but you can't stay out all night without feeling it.
• Forties: You are too busy to worry about health because you are too worried about your family and career. You dream about promotions and Jaguars.
• Fifties: You certainly don't drink as much as you did in your twenties but you could stand to lose 20 pounds. You drive an SUV or a van.
• Sixties: You read the obits a lot more carefully and could stand to lose 30 pounds. You try to avoid mirrors. Sleep becomes a subject of intense interest.
• Seventies: Hmm. If a lifetime is a week, you are far into the weekend. Your doctors seem smug and young.
• Eighties: You must have been doing something right. Have some more pie.
• Nineties: Where did everybody go?