Some groups operate with the idea that they will make it very hard to enter the group, but once you are in, you are equal to the other members. Their emphasis is on Who's In versus Who's Out.
Other groups follow the approach that you may be easily admitted, but once you are there you will have to accept a hierarchy and prove yourself in order to move up it. Their emphasis is on Who's Up versus Who's Down.
If you have someone with a Who's In mentality enter a Who's Up group, there can be some resentment at the existence of the hierarchy. The feeling is, "I'm here. Why aren't I being treated equally?" Co-workers may respond, "What are you complaining about? None of us are equal. Why should you be special?"
Deborah Tannen has written extensively on the communication problems that can arise when such groups cross in the workplace. By operating with the assumption that their "dictionary" is the only way to interpret the actions, each side contributes to the problem.
All of which reminds me of psychologist George Miller's advice that if the other person seems to adopt an irrational position, ask yourself what reality would have to resemble in order for that viewpoint to be rational.
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