Monday, September 17, 2007

Committee Sloths

Although the Committee Sloth is a creature once thought to exist only in prehistoric North America, recent evidence indicates it is now found on all continents. Slow-moving and showing little inclination toward creativity, Committee Sloths travel in herds although individuals have been known to break from the group if a box of donuts is nearby.

The Committee Sloth is known for several proclivities. The most characteristic is its tendency to volunteer for committees and then do nothing or next to nothing. Its habit of suggesting various approaches is especially irritating to other species, possibly because they sense the Committee Sloth will do no actual work if the Slothic idea is adopted. Committee Sloths fear darkness and rarely work late. They seldom respond to e-mail since typing involves an expenditure of energy. Deadlines have no effect on this creature due to a genetic immunity to shame. Although Committee Sloths accomplish little, they frequently bemoan their heavy workload.

There are numerous reports of Committee Sloths killing projects and assignments by sitting on them. These creatures may appear amiable but the cumulative effect of their practices poses a real danger to effectiveness and morale. If a quorum is required for a committee, the beasts can be lethal from a distance.


Sue S. said...

I love it -- classic Michael Wade!!

Michael Wade said...

Thanks, Sue! Not that we've ever encountered such creatures in our careers!

sweetperceptions said...

Haha! Nice.. =)