The Exploders

I imagine that most of us have encountered "exploders." 

They are people who explode in anger at some remark or action, often trivial, and then around 10 or 15 minutes later are back to normal, humming along as if nothing happened. You think they would notice that they are surrounded by people who are still wounded and reeling; a baffled audience wondering, "What the hell was that?"

One friend of mine is notorious for her outbursts. She'll explode and declare something means the end of the world as we know it and people are idiots or worse. Soon afterwards she will be joking with those who are still dazed by the explosion. She has, as is often put, a very short fuse. Naturally that harms the effectiveness of an otherwise capable and caring person. You would not send her into any situation which requires patience or diplomacy.

Since the odds of getting an exploder into counseling may be small, the next best step is to recognize the passing nature of their explosions and not take them seriously. After all, they have deflated the currency of their anger through overuse. When they explode, you silently say, "Go right ahead. I'll be back in 15 minutes."

It is another matter when a person who is always kind and patient explodes. On those occasions you should pay very close attention. As the saying goes, "Beware the anger of the patient man."