Wednesday, April 29, 2015

When No News is Bad News



"How's it going?" probably produces more lies than "Did you commit the murder?" if only because it is asked more often.

"How's it going? "How are you doing?" "How are things?"

It has been said that a bore is a person who, when asked one of those questions, tells you the truth. It may be naive to expect an honest response. People carry burdens and there can be a multitude of reasons why they won't disclose them. Among them are:
  • They don't want to inflict unhappiness on others.
  • They don't have the time.
  • They don't want to disclose something.
  • They feel the question wasn't meant to be taken seriously.
  • They believe the exercise would be pointless since the other person wouldn't or couldn't provide a solution.
  • They don't want to be perceived as whining.
  • They feel guilty or are ashamed.
  • They just don't want to talk about it in any way, shape or form.
Body language may be a tip-off. So can any seemingly off-hand comment which is tucked in with a positive response; e.g. "Things are fine. My schedule is crazy but things are rolling along." 

[You've just been told there is a problem with the schedule and it probably isn't minor.]

Listen for the limited disclosure. It is usually an understatement.

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