Workplace Playgrounds

An amazing number of workplace problems stem from adults failing to act like, well, adults.

I've seen workplaces that have high schoolish cliques and others where grade schoolish crudity is flaunted. People who would not tolerate unprofessional behavior for a second in technical matters can have a surprising willingness to stand by as their employees are subjected to playground pranks or bullying.

The stuff that is simply silly is not the problem. The behavior that is cruel is. Back-bitting, malicious gossip, flat-out harassment, cruel teasing, withholding information, shunning, and mean nicknames are just some of the childish conduct that rips apart teams, creates stress, and skews the moral compasses of the perpetrators. The conduct is meant to exclude and it is lethal.

I've mentioned it here before but there's much to be said for the Colorado hotel whose slogan is "Ladies and gentlemen serving ladies and gentlemen."

That is not too much to ask.

Note to a Negative Team Member

Dear _______,

I've decided to put in writing some thoughts about your performance.

You are pulling down the team. Your consistently negative attitude is a drag on our morale. You claim that you "tell it like it is" but your words go far beyond simple candor. You seem to take pleasure in finding fault and the same sarcasm that you use toward management is just as quickly turned on your co-workers.

Despite your frequently expressed belief that you are one of the best employees, you are one of the worst. You can be strong in some technical areas, but your "people skills" are in desperate need of improvement. You appear to be oblivious to the effect of your words. While you may be upbeat ten minutes after one of your outbursts, your co-workers are either hurting or seething and those feelings are not easily repaired. Your negative conduct has poisoned the work environment. Many people hate coming to work because they know they will have to deal with you. Still others try work on projects around you rather than with you. When you are absent, the entire atmosphere is transformed from tense and apprehensive to enjoyable and productive.

This doesn't mean that you are always unpleasant. You can be charming, cooperative, and even kind but your inconsistency keeps people wondering just which personality they will encounter whenever you walk in the door.

One part of you will want to dismiss this note as the whining of a wimp. I'm hopeful that the better parts of your nature will regard my message as what it truly is: a sincere attempt to help a person who has enormous potential.

We've love to have you as a positive member of our team. Change and we will enthusiastically welcome your transformation.

If you cannot find the willingness and strength to do that, you should leave.