Twisted Seminar Tips for Attendees

1. If possible, show up late. Speakers appreciate it when their opening remarks are interrupted by people wandering down to the front row.
2. If the speaker has put out training materials in front of chairs designated for the attendees, be sure to avoid those seats. By doing so, you’ll get to talk with your classmates when you ask them to hand the materials to you. Besides, the trainer probably just arranged the tables at random.
3. Once you’ve settled in, be sure to leap up and head to the back of the room where the refreshments are located. After all, you need nourishment.
4. Regardless of the type of food the seminar has provided, hunger pangs need never be endured. It can help to bring in your own favorites. Consuming a hard-boiled egg during a seminar has been known to trigger an early break.
5. Leave your cell phone on so relatives, co-workers, and telemarketers can call you in the course of the class. Although it may disrupt the concentration of your classmates, their time is not as important as your own.
6. Do not at any point indicate that you are interested in the topic. It is far more sophisticated to fold your arms and whisper clever observations to the people around you. They’ll savor your wit.
7. If you are tired from last night’s revels, put your head down on the table and take a nap. That way, you’ll be rested when it’s time for the break and any snores will add to the ambiance.
8. If you are ill, be courteous enough to stay in the room. With every hack, sniffle, and wheeze you’ll gain the respect of your colleagues. They will admire your persistence and want to shake your hand.
9. Should the seminar not address a question that you’d like answered, don’t raise the matter with the presenter. Quietly fuming is always the more mature reaction.
10. Judge every aspect of the seminar solely from your own perspective. If your classmates are interested in a segment and you are not, then obviously the presenter should not have included that segment. You alone are the benchmark for the success of the seminar.