Monday, October 01, 2012

Critics


  • Going for a bike ride? Better wear a helmet
  • Occasionally smoke a cigar? Haven't you heard of cancer? 
  • Have a large family? Let me give you a brochure on overpopulation.
  • The kids are playing outside at night? Get them in and lock the doors. 
  • Have carpeting in your house? The dust mites must be ferocious. 
  • Drive a big car? You are squandering fuel and harming the environment.  
  • Drink coffee? Those beans had better come from an enlightened grower.
  • Cupcakes in an elementary school classroom? Time for a nutrition lecture.
  • Own a gun? Fascist!
  • Own a pick-up truck? Gas guzzler! Racist!
  • Don't want high taxes? Selfish!
  • Like John Wayne? You must not respect Native Americans.
  • Religious? And I thought you were intelligent.
  • Listen to talk radio? That's only acceptable if it's NPR.
  • Use paper or plastic bags at the grocery store? You are environmentally insensitive.
  • Put up an American flag? Ah, another deluded nationalist.
  • Somebody attacked us? We must have deserved it. 
  • Got an opinion? Don't worry. We'll defend your right to agree with us.

2 comments:

Bob said...

You need a thick skin to live a guilt free life...Be true to yourself.

LA Grant said...

I'm pleased to say I fail or have failed in every category listed.

I wonder what the reverse list would look like?

Actually, if I may be permitted to name the sides in this argument, this is the normal person-nanny response list. You could also construct a nanny-normal, a nanny-nanny and a normal-normal, if you see what I mean.

Might be entertaining, though not so much if you lean libertarian. Then there would be nothing on the response side.