Hesitations

The truth is often filtered by hesitation. In those circumstances, we don't just say something; we say something in a certain way and at a certain time in order to obtain a reaction which we desire.

The hesitations and coverings surrounding a message are as important as pronunciation and as personal as an accent. We may wonder "What is Jack or Maria trying to say?" even after they have made what appears to be a direct statement. It is possible, given the context, that a remark which is positive on its surface is negative underneath or vice versa. A skillful listener can discern hidden messages as surely as a code-breaker cracks codes.

How do people hesitate? They may:

• Avoid telling you now.
• Use vague words or jargon.
• Sandwich the real meaning between diversionary language or examples.
• Employ language which is carefully crafted so later it can be said you were told although, at the time, you may not realize you've been told and they don't want you to spot that you've been told.

It may be that we need to spend as much time learning how to listen as we do learning how to speak.