Today is Father's Day.
It is very unfair that fathers are honored during the summer instead of the school year because doing so robs fathers of the various colored plates, plaster handprints, and other memorable presents that the children prepare in elementary school for Mother's Day. Undoubtedly, this suspicious choice of dates was a conspiracy between the teachers and the moms to stiff the dads.
Alert the press.
I'm tempted to write at length about fatherhood and my own blunders in that area, but it's hard to equal John Lahr's simple observation that fathers are objects that become clearer with distance.
He was onto something.
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