Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Old School

Take one executive, manager or supervisor.

If possible, belittle the predecessor. Put the new individual under serious pressure. Emphasize results instead of efforts. Fire anyone who doesn’t immediately produce. If you aren’t permitted to fire the person, exile to an unpleasant location is always an acceptable alternative.

Use yelling as a motivational device and let people know that you expect your displeasure to roll downhill. Establish a caste system. Belittle anyone who is not in the inner circle.

If possible, make sure that any training in human relations skills took place over ten years ago or preferably not at all. Ridicule such training as soft-headed.

Disregard any personnel rules. Those only apply to the employees.

Demand that the job consume the lives of all subordinates. Mock anyone who wants to spend time with family.

Tightly control the flow of information. Discourage any contact with Human Resources or the company attorney. Only bring them into the loop when it is absolutely unavoidable. If they are consulted, emphasize that your only goal is to keep the government off of your back.

Regard criticism as treason. Label employee complaints as the actions of troublemakers, losers, and malcontents. Boast of the times when you’ve exacted revenge. Hint that no matter how many years it may take, anyone who crosses you will be punished.

Ignore any abusive behavior if the abuser’s production numbers look good. Reward the person for those results. That will signal to the others just what the organization truly values.

Play favorites. That will breed resentment. A staff that is at each other’s throats won’t be at yours.

If you make a mistake, pin it on a subordinate executive, manager, supervisor or, ideally, a potential rival. Quickly replace that person.

Start over again.

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