Saturday, March 24, 2007

One-Way Conversation

He folded his hands and leaned forward on his desk.

"We're different from other organizations," he said.

[I cannot tell you how often I've heard that one.]

"The lessons learned elsewhere cannot be applied here."

[Why not? Do you employ Martians?]

"In fact, I'm not sure if my managers will even talk with an outsider."

[I've never had any trouble getting them to talk. The difficulty has been getting them to shut up.]

"Frankly, we are suspicious of anyone who hasn't worked in our industry."

[That must be how you get all of those new ideas.]

"And if the employees had any problems, I'm sure that they'd talk to our HR director."

[You mean they'll talk to that person seated over there who flinches whenever you make a sudden gesture?]

"But we'll give it a try anyway. If you want, I'll explain everything to the team in advance."

[That's okay. I think I'll handle that part.]


Rowan Manahan said...

Or my recent tooth-grinder:

Me: Your MArketing Driector is the problem. I've only spent half a day out of a scheduled 5 days talking to your management team; but I can already tell you that your Marketing Director is a sadistic, cancerous thug. He's the root cause of all your problems with morale, staff turnover, reputation and prro margins.

CEO: Yeah, I thought you might say something like that; but he does alway make his top-line number ...

Michael Wade said...

Well, if he makes his numbers then he must be great!