Beating Old Man Winter in Maine
Obligatory snow picture. Probably not in Maine.
Sippican Cottage reveals his strategy. An excerpt:
People never steal anything useful like pellets. That's why they're left out in the parking lot under the hinky streetlight. People who want to steal things go inside the Walmart and try to steal televisions and iPhones, which are not useful, and go to jail for their trouble. There's 25 grand in pellets outside, but they want to steal a phone the company will give to you for free if you sign up for cellphone service. I think that proves that tattoo ink interferes with normal brain function, because everyone in the police blotter has a visible tattoo on their neck. I'm just doing the math again. However, it doesn't explain how you ended up with a tattoo in the first place, so I need a new theorem.