- Pretend you haven’t noticed they are there.
- Stay in first gear, especially when they are rushing.
- Let them overhear your personal phone call, and make no attempt to end it.
- Open late. Close early.
- Say “That’s not our policy.”
- Say “That’s not my job.”
- Say “I’m not allowed to do that.”
- Say “I have no idea.”
- Say “Are you sure that’s what you want?”
- Slouch. Chew Gum. Twirl your hair between your fingers.
- Give them a blank stare, or worse, roll your eyes.
- Fidget distractedly.
- Appear bored.
- Finish whatever other task you have at hand, while they wait for you to attend to them.
- Talk story with other employees.
- Laugh at an “inside joke” they are not privy to.
- Speak in a monotone.
- See how long you can go without smiling.
- Be late for their appointment or with their reservation.
- Take shortcuts with your service, saying “you don’t really need this part do you?”
- Make excuses.
- Have a quick comeback for every point they may wish to make with you.
- Offer mechanical, routine service that is so uneventful, so ordinary, that they expect to pull a number and listen for you to call out “Next!”
- Look at them with open disapproval or impatience.
- Speak so softly, or in such a rush, that they need to keep asking “What was that?”
- Give them directions so involved or confusing they have to write them down.
- Give them “scenic” directions that take them out of their way when they really wanted a shortcut.
- Ignore the very young and very old in the group, talking only to the ones you assume are the “responsible ones” - or the paying ones.
- Assume that all customers are the same, and you already know what they want.
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Lifehack.org has some excellent guidelines on how to drive a customer crazy. I think I've seen all of these.
Posted by Michael Wade at 6:40 AM