Thursday, April 12, 2007

Networking Not!

Have you ever noticed that our best "networking" - to use that bizarre term - occurs when we aren't... networking?

I stay away from so-called networking events because they're packed with people who are trying to sell to one another and with no one who's interested in buying.

[The best sessions, of course, are where I enter to great applause and the audience rushes as one to get my business card. I'll let you know as soon as I encounter one.]

The reason why so many of the events fail is they often resemble those dating services in which a small army of rats in heat/people descend on a restaurant and play the equivalent of musical chairs, only in this game the players switch tables and make a quick pitch. If it sounds hellish, it probably is. The emphasis is on the sale instead of the relationship.

Relationships take time. The sense of desperation that surrounds eager networkers dooms their efforts. By moving slowly, relationships build trust and respect. Accomplished relationship-builders follow a version of Spencer Tracy's old line about acting; i.e., that it is the easiest thing to do in the world, only don't ever let anyone catch you doing it.

2 comments:

Rowan Manahan said...

Absolutely!

The reason that most people shy away from networking, despite its inherent advantages, is that they perceive that they are going to turn into some kind of leech.

The vast majority of what changes hands in effective networking relationships is information and ideas. No sane person is going to allow the other party to take and take and take ...

Networking is like any other relationship - if it is symbiotic, it will thrive and expand; if it is parasitic, the host will try and escape the relationship.

Michael Wade said...

That's an important point, Rowan. The fear of the parasitic relationship is a real barrier. One way of countering the fear in cases that are not extreme is never to keep score. As someone once said, "If you keep score you always lose."