The Political World's Management Standards

"Mary, do you recall when you said you'd been shot at and then it turned out there was not a shred of truth to your story? Well, actions have consequences. Instead of sending you to the employee assistance program for counseling, we've decided to place you in a highly sensitive and coveted position representing our entire organization."

"Carl, you have less management experience than the head of the local Burger King. How would you like to head a very complex organization?"

"Fred, we've reviewed your record and it appears that you've been wrong on every major policy decision this organization has faced over the past twenty years. But since you're a likable fellow and regard yourself as sort of an expert we think it's time to promote you."

"Ellen, you haven't produced any results but darn it, you've been trying and we've concluded that trying is more important than results. We'll keep you on as an executive so you can continue doing what you do best: Try."

"Tim, your private life is such a mess there is no way you'd pass a security clearance. Fortunately, we can put you in a position that oversees the office that issues security clearances."

"Sally, you've been caught in one lie after another. Your manipulative skills, although imperfect, are formidable. There's not a person here who trusts you any further than we can throw you. We want you on our team."