Meetings: When a Storm Moves In

You arrive at the meeting with the expectation that it was going to be a standard, review-some-information session and your thoughts are all in that direction.

Then it happens. One or more of the attendees shifts the tone. The "happy jolly" meeting is now an evening with the Borgias. You're operating from one script but they have a very different one. Their lips may smile but their eyes do not. Some recommendations:

1. Don't fall into denial. Telling yourself that this is not happening will do you no good. It's happening and the ambush was almost certainly planned.
2. Check out the body language of the other attendees. Who else seems surprised or upset by the new tone? They are your potential allies.
3. Buy time. If the attacks are directed at you, it is appropriate to say, "I'll be glad to discuss that fully in a meeting devoted to that topic. I was not told that was the subject of this meeting." At this time, simple fairness is on your side. Play that card to attract support from the neutrals but don't expect your opponents to have a sudden change of heart and play fair. If pressed for an immediate response on a point, determine whether you can responsibly give one or whether delay is essential. You may need to consult with some others who are not present.
4. Explore their assumptions. Ask questions about their reasoning process and their sources of information. Find out if all of you are using the same benchmark. Don't fall into the trap of using their standard of measurement if it does not match your own.
5. Back up your words. If you say you aren't prepared to discuss something, don't deviate from that position. Say that you'll be happy to discuss it later and then see if they are willing to return to the set agenda. If they are not, there is no use continuing the meeting. Wish everyone a good day and leave. They surprised you with an ambush. You can surprise them by leaving. This will permit you to get to a quiet spot so you can assess the situation. 
6. Be thoroughly professional. Don't act flustered or angry. Don't say anything rash or rude. Be polite yet firm. Take control of your own behavior.

There is no reason for you to join in their game. They have their agenda and you have yours. They want you to be upset. Don't give them that reward.

There are moments when it makes sense to embrace the power of indifference.