Friday, May 18, 2012

How to Create a Boring Meeting


Crank up the heat in the room. Make sure the chairs are uncomfortable. Dim the lights. Allow no refreshments other than, perhaps, a container of lukewarm water. Don't have enough cups. Have an unclear goal or, better yet, a boring one. Speak slowly in a monotone. For the two people who may not have heard it, repeat Ed's story about the fishing trip that started in Helena and wound up in Tampa. Use lots of jargon. Restate what's already been said whenever anyone strolls in late. Let people ramble. Use at least 50 PowerPoint slides. Distribute copies of all of them before you start. Announce that there will be a break in two hours. Give the history of every related topic. Tell them you're saving the important stuff for the end.

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