Gaining Control

If fear is driven by a lack - or perceived lack - of control, then what can be done to hold or regain control? Here are some strategies:

1. Refuse to play power games that are stacked against you. Walk away.



2. Don't let your inherent courtesy permit another to exert control over you.



3. Buy time if you feel that you are on the verge of being manipulated.



4. Develop a sizable zone of indifference to the feelings of scoundrels and to issues over which you have no control.



5. Identify points that may be used as leverage against you. Eliminate them or reduce their potential impact.



6. Avoid slippery roads; i.e. those occasions and projects where your control is likely to be reduced.



7. Practice dealing with your classic fears and try mocking them. If necessary, get professional help.



8. Review your priorities and jettison ones that are not truly your own.



9. Don't permit nonethical values, such as success or popularity, to cause you to ignore or subvert ethical ones, such as honesty, caring, or fairness.



10. Rein in your imagination. It can be a colossal fear-generator and most of those fears will never transpire. Put them on a scale of 1 to 10 and seriously evaluate the likelihood of them occuring. We often treat fears as if they are 9s and 10s when they are really 1s or 2s.


11. Shun perfectionism. It is the enemy of reasonable control.


12. Remember the old saying: This too shall pass.