If fear is driven by a lack - or perceived lack - of control, then what can be done to hold or regain control? Here are some strategies:
- Refuse to play power games that are stacked against you. Walk away.
- Don't let your inherent courtesy permit another to exert control over you.
- Buy time if you feel that you are on the verge of being manipulated.
- Develop a sizable zone of indifference to the feelings of scoundrels and to issues over which you have no control.
- Identify points that may be used as leverage against you. Eliminate them or reduce their potential impact.
- Avoid slippery roads; i.e. those occasions and projects where your control is likely to be reduced.
- Practice dealing with your classic fears and try mocking them. If necessary, get professional help.
- Review your priorities and jettison ones that are not truly your own.
- Don't permit nonethical values, such as success or popularity, to cause you to ignore or subvert ethical ones, such as honesty, caring, or fairness.
- Rein in your imagination. It can be a colossal fear-generator and most of those fears will never transpire. Put them on a scale of 1 to 10 and seriously evaluate the likelihood of them occuring. We often treat fears as if they are 9s and 10s when they are really 1s or 2s.
- Shun perfectionism. It is the enemy of reasonable control.
- Remember the old saying: This too shall pass.
Labels: controlling fear