Thursday, September 17, 2009

Some Modest Proposals

  1. That airline executives always fly coach.

  2. That HR professionals in charge of screening applicants hit the street every five years to look for a job.

  3. That technical writers pay a fine for every unclear instruction in manuals on how to assemble children's toys.

  4. That bookstores create a special section for "Dysfunctional Family Fiction."

  5. That MTV go on sabbatical for fifty years.

  6. That Hollywood reduce the number of its awards ceremonies by 50 percent.

  7. That logic be taught in high schools.

  8. That a new line of fashion be developed for those trapped in baggy shorts and reversed baseball caps.

  9. That the junior people speak first at all meetings.

  10. That Subarus be limited to no more than three bumper stickers.

  11. That all conference rooms have windows.

  12. That interest groups stop regarding government as a vending machine.

  13. That every fifth person hired be a maverick.

  14. That use of the phrase "for the children" by a political leader be the equivalent of saying "I hereby resign."

  15. That malware, spyware, and adware perpetrators have their assets confiscated and bodies caned prior to serving a life sentence on a Saharan chain gang.


Larry Sheldon said...

#15 seems a little mild. How about 5 hours in a windowless conference with a never ending coffee supply but no access to a restroom.

Listening to the young folk talk about job hunting and AV software.

For first offenders.

Michael Wade said...


We don't want any constitutional violations regarding cruel and unusual punishment.