New Year's Resolutions: Lowering the Bar

For those who get demoralized at unmet New Year's resolutions, here are a few new ones to consider:

1. Eat more chocolate.
2. Gain at least three pounds.
3. Misplace your keys.
4. Hear about some celebrity and wonder, "Who is that?"
5. Go another year without reading "Ulysses."
6. Confuse Monet and Manet.
7. Avoid beets.
8. Let unread magazines stack up.
9. Boycott the samba.
10. Do something really stupid.