Bring In Your Unloved Movies
Joe Queenan is starting an orphanage for forgotten films:
I had never heard of any of these films before I spotted them on the shelf at 7-11; neither had anyone else. The movies, I had reason to believe, were so bad that even the people who starred in them had never heard of them. There is no way that Susan Sarandon and Ed Norton are aware that they once co-starred in a movie about identical twins who get involved in an Oklahoma drug deal that goes south. No way. If you told Susan Sarandon that she was once in a movie about twins who get embroiled in an Oklahoma drug deal that goes south, she would probably say, "I seem to vaguely remember being in a movie called Lorenzo's Oil. And I might have been in a movie called Igby Goes Down. Or was it The Banger Sisters? But I have no recollection of ever being in a movie called Leaves of Grass. Are you sure you're not confusing that with A Perfect Getaway: The Unrated Director's Cut?"