In Business Fairy Tales

In business fairy tales, the best candidate is always selected for promotion, all of the team members pitch in, senseless procedures are quickly spotted and eliminated, and people do what they say they will do. People do not file meritless complaints, outside attorneys are dedicated to the truth, and union leaders and top execs are invariably noble. The new products and services are always improvements over the former ones and customer satisfaction is the gold standard. Meetings are well-run and productive and there is never a hidden agenda. The workplace is clean and safe and so attractive that people are reluctant to leave at the end of the day, which always arrives with sufficient time for a fulfilled family or social life. The mission is clear, the employee handbook is readable, and the rules reflect common sense. All crises are resolved within 24 hours and no one is hurt. Lessons are learned and grudges are not kept. People are treated like, well, people and not as machine parts that can be easily replaced. The days pass with well-paced excitement and nothing ever happens at an inconvenient time. There may be a wizard or two but trolls always work elsewhere.

And, of course, everyone lives happily ever after.