Try Both/And Instead of Either/Or

It's odd. You'll find people who are very forgiving with the transgressions of others while being brutally harsh judges of their own conduct. They are great companions and boost the morale of everyone but brood when by themselves. They show respect to others while holding themselves in relatively low regard. They will work diligently to assist a stranger but then ease off when their own interests are at stake.

At some point, they bought the zero-sum notion that valuing and promoting yourself means taking away from others.

That idea is one of the most lethal poisons in the world.