Joyce Hughes and Miranda Burgess have written “HAL’s Thoughts While Trapped On A Desert Island, And Your Name Is Dave.”
A portion:
It's not the heat, Dave, it's the humidity.
That's quite a beard you're growing, Dave.
Shall I calculate pi to 100,000 decimal places for you again, Dave?
Ow. I told you, Dave, I'm not programmed for that.
I've got the conch, Dave.
Dave, would you mind putting sunscreen on my back?
You were Mary Ann last time, Dave.
I think that seagull likes you, Dave.
Read it all here.
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