Unspoken Thoughts During a Dysfunctional Team Meeting

• "These people are so passive that if I don't start listing ideas we'll be here all week.
• "Why did Jane assume that she should list the team's ideas on the whiteboard? When was she named to chair this meeting? What an ego!"
• "I'm not familiar with this sort of project but I can probably just ride along with whatever the others suggest. If I keep writing they won't call on me."
• "They want spontaneous brainstorming? Forget it. I'm not opening my mouth about anything if I haven't had the chance to study the topic in advance."
• "Where did Seymour get that tie? A rummage sale?"
• "I know quite a bit about the marketing part of this project, but Rex is such a jerk I'm not going to contribute any ideas. Let's watch the genius figure it out on his own."
• "I think that is one of the nuttiest proposals I've ever seen. But wait a minute. They are so enthusiastic about it I might be wrong."
• "If we can get this done without offending anyone, it will really help my career."
• "How many meetings can I skip and still be on this committee?"
• "Jane likes it and she's very sharp."
• "Will I look like an idiot if I tell them I don't understand the marketing analysis?"
• "This idea is absolutely brilliant. There's no way this can fail."
• "Why can't that IT guy speak plain English?"
• "Just look at that blouse. Ellen dresses like Madonna and then wants people to take her seriously. I bet she's had work done."
• "As soon as I get back to my office, I'm going to try to get away from this bunch of losers."
• "Everyone else seems so bright and confident. How did I ever get here?"
• "If I can just get Rex Jr. to settle down at school and if Janice will get off my back about another pay raise, I just might start to have a life."
• "And then we'll go to Tahiti and find that little bar near the beach and...."
• "I wonder if Jane and Rex are having an affair."
• "Just twenty more minutes of this torture and then...."
• "No, Seymour. Please, please. We don't want to hear about the Branson account for the 500th time."
• "I shouldn't have bought these damned shoes. Cheap pieces of...."
• "Do they have donuts over there? Can I eat just one and still be on my diet?"
• "I think Ellen's in love with me."
• "Geez. When was this room last painted? 1922?"