Bring on the Goats and Chickens!

Cultural Offering has a helpful list of things we should have in case of some dire emergency. I think my household has around 32 items, which rates three notches above pathetic. I'd add:

1. One copy of "The Road" for tips on dealing with marauding bands of cannibals.
   
   
2. Ponchos, because they look neat.
   
   
3. Flares, for entertainment.
   
   
4. Lawyers, guns and money, in deference to Warren Zevon. On second thought, we can skip the lawyers and money. But go for plenty of guns. I also like that sling shot idea.
   
   
5. Gopher traps. [See "O Brother, Where Art Thou" for guidance.]
   
   
6. Pop Tarts. Hurricane survivors swear by them.
   
   
7. Small bottles of Wild Turkey, for use as currency.