Stanley has invented a new Bing:
First of all, I'm prettier. I think you'll notice that right away. More ... lush. Yeah, I might be a bit thicker around the middle, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Businesspeople should exude a certain gravitas, so that people may look at us coming down the street and say, "¡Caramba! He looks great! Life must agree with him!" And it does too. Life looks a whole lot better than it did in the last stinky decade, anyway. You're going to see that bigtime in the new me.
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