Powerful Words

Articles like this CareerJournal one on words to use on resumes ("creative," "accuracy," "deadlines") beg to be spoofed.

For example, here are some words that should be left off of your resume:

Embezzled
Convicted
Molested
Overlooked
Fumbled
Forgot
Groped
Bankrupted
Crashed
Maimed
Lost
Fled
Extradited
Insulted
Slandered
Poked

Update: And some more!

Absconded
Filched
Hornswoggled
Bamboozled
Decimated
Flashed
Preyed
Misled
Upchucked