Help Wanted: Toady
Company seeking a person with a proven record of subordinating ethical standards to organizational goals and dedicated to the shameless pleasing of superiors. The latter duties shall include the usual bowing, scraping, and groveling as well as the skilled use of flattery. The successful applicant will have demonstrated the ability to embrace anonymity, suppress bad news, spread rumors, destroy reputations, browbeat others in the name of superiors, sacrifice family life, shred evidence, laugh at bad jokes, and employ the stiletto at management's direction. Naturally, there will be other duties as assigned. Fluency in doublespeak is a plus. Candidates who can perform their duties while maintaining an aura of complete sincerity will be given special preference. Salary will be negotiable. As might be expected, the previous incumbent was promoted. This is an extraordinary career opportunity.
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