In a survey, the Dutch have voted themselves, behind the Russians and the French, the third rudest nation in Europe.
Now there's a source of national pride! I've never been to the Netherlands and have never heard that the Dutch are rude.
Perhaps their directness is seen as impolite.
The expression, "Talk like a Dutch uncle" means talking with complete and brutal candor.
[NOTE: I've had to close the comments section on this post due to a technical problem.]
262 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 262 of 262Hi Folks, ever heard of prejudices?
I like this blog so much that I want to give it the First price for Prejudices.
Are the Dutch rude ? Well they are the children, grandchildren and great grandchildren of the same people who thought it was a good idea to help murder millions of innocent people in concentration camps. Help wage catastrophic wars of aggression not just against their neighbors but against people on the other side of the planet for no better reason than that those people had resources from which the Dutch could profit from. Oh yeah they are the same ones who kidnapped and trafficked 100's of thousands of black Africans to North and South America to work as slaves. The list can go on and on. The entirety of Dutch history and culture reads like a bad horror story. A lot has changes in the Netherlands and a lot has not. Their brutal, cruel, oppressive, abusive mental processes are still very much alive and in play in their daily lives. But are they rude ? Naaaaaaaaaaah.
What a delight to finally find out about other people's experiences of dealing with the obnoxious , despicable ,loathsome , boorish Dutch.
Nowhere in the world have we ever been treated like in that pathetic country.
The good news is that the Dutch people are victims of their own arrogance. They will change. After a decade they will be made to play by the rules of their Muslim “guests”.
Oh, I get that last comment - that individual clearly belongs to the group of fellow assholes.
this is all quite halarious... Because I am a very friendly dutch person. as is my family. as are my friends. i find that when it comes to hopsitality, Dutch people are the best at it. I live in Ont. Canada, and apart from the country side, Canadians can be rude too. as are Americans, Germans. British, Asians, Africans, South Americans... and the list goes on. don't judge a country if you are not willing to be open. Every nation has its culture. Accept it. Move on. Don't like Dutch people? then you better not visit the Netherlands. If you ain't Dutch, you ain't much, the saying goes... hahaha.
Be nice. and. Move on.
I have lide in Amsterdam my whole life and being a moroccan male that finished his university degree you would think that it would be appreciated and rewarded, not in a financial, but in a social manner, but I can tell you one thing.
The Dutch are the biggest racist I have ever seen in my traveling, reading, watching and studying life. The dutch are so unbelievebaly racist, but at the same time present themself as tolerant. I dt really know what the dutch mean with tolerant, but it has nothing to do with english equivelent. The dutch will bring up conversations and joke about your ethnic background every chance they get and it seems likje they never get tired of themselfs. They do appoligise on national tv for the slavery, but at the same time are very proud of the VOC empire. Well let me tell you thing, the VOC empire was only achieved by means of slavery, by means of taking people from their domistic homes and countries and sell them far away like animals. Anbd not this brutal form of trade is an issue the way they treated these people, by killing them when not working hard enough. You would think that's all, but they also have slaughtered almost whole of the indonesian islands. They still celebrate "sinterklaas en zwarte piet" which basicly a racist story about white man traveling on a horse with his slaves called 'zwarte piet" a white man that cover his face in black wears two golden earings and has red lipstick. They told us at school that the black was from all the dust in the smokeshaft from sneaking in in to the houses, but even as a smaal kid I never bought that, because I would always reply, "the smokeshaft doesn't get your lips red and doesn't provide you with two golden earring". I cannot even image the americans or the english even thinking about have national holiday like that. The whole country would be outraged. That is even not the biggst part, because this year when people wanted the thing to stop and started asking the government to stop this ridiculous holiday, these people got threat mails.
I will say one last thing. I you have any politeness, shyness, decenness, humanity, humble, or anything that would make a good person please, please do not come here. I'm planning as well to leave as soon as I have the financial means.
i would like to thank all the commentors for calling me a rude bully because i am dutch...
"iedereen over één kam scheren"
please let us be ourselfs in our country. we dont hate you for being you in your country!
yes some dutch people are rude... but its not becease they are dutch but because they are just rude. just like in many other countries!
if you want to know more about dutch people and their behaver. read the book: "stuff dutch people do" that explains a lot!
I can't really read a lot of concrete examples of rudeness in all the posts here to be honest. It reads as though most posts are based on interacting only on how people behave towards one another, and then not being large enough to simply ignore the rudeness. This is quite shallow, although some of you note the Dutch are closed beyond that. It is true many people like to stuff it to one another, to pick a fight, be rude and offensive. If that's a reason for not going somewhere then indeed you are better off not visiting. It's probably why the 'lads' do come. Note though that the police are allowed to club every social disturbance as flat as the country itself.
I hope you understand that you have been dealing with working class people. The Dutch will absolutely not bend to any criticism: stubbornness is the national creed ('Je maintiendrai'). It is true that in The Netherlands there is only a working class, that even the royal family belongs to. You could see it as a form of humility and demanding from everyone to not have any pretenses. ''You shit and fuck like the rest of us'' is the gossip. It is very difficult to express that you understand this, when you come from a well-mannered country. Secondly, the main Dutch industry is agriculture. As a Dutch person from a long Dutch lineage (without agrarians), it is entirely understandable that the Dutch are considered as narrow minded, jealous, normal obsessed, socially controlling, racist and rude people. If I think what this trades off with though, it would be anti authoritarianism (although everyone is abusing the tiniest power their social role or even just their citizenship provides to the extreme), agrarian pettiness or potentially justified self loathing. Who would blame a farmer for not being cosmopolitan? In the most industrialized nations of the world most people still live in villages. The Dutch have certainly been rude throughout our history. On the high seas, against slaves and oppressors alike. We have been rude against any social rule that forbids anything. Racism, for example, is forbidden. Combine that with a farmer's small-town attitude. We own the country, it is the only place where we can demand the right to be like this. As resentful as you may find it (note the we- you here). I once met a girl barely clad in the train and I helped her get around Amsterdam but when we met my Chinese friend, I was completely embarrassed she would not shake his hand. I have had Moroccan friends but felt extremely gutted with their support for terrorism and anti-semitism. I feel completely at ease being an atheist in Holland, it may be the most atheist country in the world. There is no higher truth, the orange soccer festival is a criticism to that belief. We were complacent during WWII but the nazis were brutal beyond imagination to a nation absent to the first world war. At that time religious communities were fenced off, cities were large villages. I don't see an inferiority complex in our disrespect for others, but a belief that only you as a selfish cynical individual can claim your right to breathe. Hating others is apparently a benefit that comes with it. If you are German please don't come, if you come to smoke weed or take X, be responsible and expound tolerance. If you need to fuck a hooker go to Spain. If you are right leaning, please stay away. If your country is backward, you are very likely to be conservative, please come, meet your doom.
Dutch "rudeness" is simply their way of coping with their fear. Fear of ( fill in the blank ) because their list of fears can go on forever. They grew up in small houses with 9 or 12 children where space and privacy and basic resources were fought over and closely guarded and a survival of the fittest mentality was the only defense they had. Couple this with being a small country surrounded by much larger countries who have been at war with each other for generations. Everything they have or think they have is always at a threat of being taken away by( fill in the blank ) because the list of people who the Dutch think are taking things away is long. Theirs is a fear based society which is not normal or healthy which is why outsiders think they are rude to down right arrogant and obnoxious to the point where you really want to punch their teeth out of their mouths. Despite the clean towns and well maintained highways ? Theirs is a society only slightly more sophisticated than cavemen.
Being a Dutchie and living in Asia I can definitely say we are both very direct and very impatient. Non-direct and vague answers is something I simple can not stand so my staff is used to say about anything they want to me and life is so much easier. No second guessing, no research as to what is going on. It takes time and some people don't like it. Obviously one can try hard to go with the local flow and in a lot of cultural aspects I do but this directness seems so ingrained in our DNA that fighting it for years would probably kill me.
AND HERE I WAS THINKING THAT MY IN-LAWS WERE JUST CRAZY.
I AM GLAD I AM NOT ALONE IN THESE FEELINGS.
DUTCH PEOPLE ARE RUDE.I HAVE FIRST HAND EXPERIENCE OF THIS. I AM MARRIED TO A DUTCH MAN.
THEY HAVE NO MANNERS.
I CONSTANTLY HIGHLIGHT THE RUDENESS OF DUTCH PEOPLE TO HIM WITH VIVID EXAMPLES AND HE TOTALLY AGREES WITH ME. LUCKILY FOR ME HE ACTUALLY THINKS ABOUT WHAT I SAY AND SEES HIS CULTURE FOR WHAT IT IS.
IT IS BECAUSE THEIR CULTURE IS BASED ON THE VALUES OF GODLESSNESS AND NO RELIGION. THEY HAVE TAKEN ALL MEASURES TO ELIMINATE RELIGION ENTIRELY FROM THEIR CONSTITUTION AND CULTURE.THINKING THAT IT MAKES A BETTER SOCIETY.
ALL THEY ARE INTERESTED IN IS MAKING MONEY. HOW EXPENSIVE SOMETHING IS. HOW TO MAKE A BARGAIN. "HOEVEEL KOST HET" (HOW MUCH DOES IT COST IS THEIR MOTTO FOR LIFE)
I THINK WE SEEM TO FORGET THAT DUTCH PEOPLE WERE ACTUALLY THE ONES AT THE CENTRE OF THE GREATEST ABOMINATION IN HISTORY. THE SLAVE TRADE. THEY WERE THE ONES RUNNING THE SHIPPING COMPANIES. THEY WERE THE ONES WHO TURNED IT INTO A PROFIT MAKING ACTIVITY. READ YOUR HISTORY BOOKS. THEY ARE INTRINSICALLY EVIL AND GODLESS PEOPLE. THAT IS WHY THEY ARE RUDE.
SINCE I READ THIS BLOG I NOW HAVE THE TOTAL CONFIDENCE TO TELL MY IN-LAWS TO F *** OFF.
AT THE END OF THE DAY CULTURE OR NOT YOUR CULTURE THERE IS ONE GOD. BECAUSE YOUR CULTURE IS BASED ON GODLESSNESS, DOESN'T MEAN PEOPLE SHOULD TOLERATE IT. THERE IS A RIGHT WAY TO TREAT PEOPLE AND THERE IS WRONG PERIOD.
THERE IS A HUGE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SPEAKING YOUR MIND AND BEING DOWNRIGHT OFFENSIVE.
SOMETIMES I WISH I HAD MARRIED A BRITISH PERSON. I RATHER LIVE IN A SOCIETY WHERE PEOPLE THINK BEFORE THEY SPEAK WHETHER THEY MEAN IT OR NOT.
THAN PEOPLE WHO JUST SAY DOWNRIGHT OFFENSIVE THINGS AND THEN BLAME IT ON THEIR CULTURE. I AM SICK OF THESE PEOPLE.
I have lived + worked for extended periods of time in the USA, UK, Germany, China, Brazil, Canada + Switzerland; for shorter periods of time in Ireland, France, Italy + Morocco… and (unfortunately) the Netherlands. I loved Canada, Germany, NE + NW USA, Brazil and have favorable memories of the other countries… and then there is the Netherlands. When I think about the Netherlands + the rude inhabitants I can already taste the bile in my mouth. They live in a little Dutch bubble that is just beyond any description. Unless you were born here + look “native” – forget it. You will NEVER be accepted. You are not missing anything exciting anyways, so just stay the Hell away from the place. IF you get stuck there I would highly recommend frequent trips to Germany or France to stay sane.
They live in a "little country bubble" - if you were not born in the bubble you will never "get it." Everyone born in the bubble will help you understand constantly. They will also become VERY defensive at any attempt to burst their bubble of existence.
No decorum: http://www.thefreedictionary.com/decorum. It is not translatable into Dutch + totally does not exist here.
I have worked with Dutch people extensively and lived in NL for a while.
Certainly in the workplace,the Dutch can be blatantly rude.
But,since i wasnt living in a bif city in the North, but a smaller town in the South,i guess it wasnt so bad.
But they ARE certainly lacking manners.and also very stingy.
OTOH, they can be friendly too, but i found them,in general,keeping to themselves and isolated.
But I have to say,when I was in Russia(and being not white),was more worse.Russians can be more ruder than the dutch.
I like the Dutch and find the Brits far ruder, and moreover, worse behaved. I made some friends via penpals and on holidays with Dutch as a teenager, and visited them in The Netherlands, where I was invited to stay with their families. I have kept these friends all my life. I studied in The Netherlands for a year as part of the Erasmus exchange and had a Dutch boyfriend and also became quite fluent in Dutch. Recently I went back for 3 months with work and find myself very integrated, I am invited along to a lot of social events and parties, I joined some local sports clubs. I'm now arranging to move back permanently. I feel safe and welcome here. There is some rudeness but its because you are expected to be reasonably self sufficient and not interfere in other people's business. I quite like that.
Oh my god, I have to get out of here as quickly as I can. I can totally relate to all of these comments, and wondered if I was going insane. I just assumed NL was like the rest of Europe, where I have lived in various countries. But the worst of all these comments is completely true. Life doesn't have to be such a hell.
My brother lives in the NL, Eindhoven, Noord Brabant. The people I have met on the street when visiting have been a mix leaning towards the rude and that's how I got to this blog. There are normal, polite people in the NL, but I felt a lot more welcome in Berlin.
Good Anecdote #1: We were lost in the middle of Eindhoven looking for the market. An elderly gentleman with no knowledge of English pointed us in the right direction. He was very nice, very polite.
Good Anecdote #2: My brother's neighbor insists on helping with the upkeep of my brother's yard even though he is disabled, always insisting that he use his lawnmower and my brother not purchase his own. Very nice gentleman, not an ounce of English, but tries to communicate. This in turn allowed me to try and learn Dutch, which I appreciate.
Bad Anecdote #1: Walking down the street in Eindhoven I held the door for my girlfriend to enter a records store when a man with his children rushed through the open door physically pushing her out of the way. Then he proceeded in Dutch to say that I must be an American because I was polite, perhaps to his children.
Bad Anecdote #2: We were walking through downtown Eindhoven, which is a very nice little town, very quiet and very pleasant when a well dressed Dutch white man proceeded to violently beat a black man accusing him in his screams that he is a thief. Most people took out their phones to take pictures. I was curious if the story ever made it to the newspaper and how it was covered. This was in the fall of 2012 ...
Bad Anecdote #3: The train passengers are very rude and there is no line for waiting to get on. We were constantly being made fun of to our faces for appearing to be American. The expectation was that we did not understand Dutch. Which we did ... A young lady on a train from Utrecht to Eindhoven proceeded to make fun of us in English which we felt was in very poor taste, though she was trying to seem clever.
Bad Anecdote #4: We were waiting to get on the boat tour in 's-Hertoegenbosch when a group of people rushed to the front of the line, we actually had to go talk to the gate keeper and remind him that were scheduled for a certain time, otherwise we would have had to wait for another round and we had already skipped one for the same reason. The second time I felt I had to speak up. On the boat we were constantly made fun of, again, for appearing to be American by two girls sitting right next to us until one of them smarted to the fact that we may understand them. BTW I'm Eastern European, well traveled, I feel. I guess if I'm not begging then I can fool the Dutch into thinking I'm someone else ...
There are nice people, but the rudeness is astounding. I had a much higher appreciation of the Dutch, mainly from the things my brother says, but I'll keep my visits short.
Being born en raised in the Netherlands near the German border, hundred miles away from Amsterdam, i would like to apologize for the rude behavior of my compatriots.
I have no explanation were the Dutch 'etiquette' comes from, and i don't feel the need to find excuses. The only thing I can do is set an example!
Im a dutch myself.. lives in the village area.
im so ashamed to come from this country . It's so sad and dull.I've lived in other countries before for a long time when I get back here I finally realized that this is not for me.
Most people smoking weeds.when you go to festivals they're wasted and proud of it because of the drugs.
they do talk behind your back. .(so much as for being straight forward).the time they're being straight forward they really add everything up even from the past to hurt you, the economy is going bad and they know it.i don't feel home in my own country. .very unfortunately. . But, im leaving in few months, I can't wait to feel relief again. I feel dead living here. Acquaintance-nice, colleagues and friends. ..so sorry, very horrible.
I'm a Canadian with Dutch roots. I've been visiting the Netherlands for the past month with the intent to better learn my roots and understand the culture I've always identified myself with.
I've got to say that while I've really enjoy certain aspects I was really taken aback by how a notable percentage of people here seem to genuinely hate anyone that isn't born and bred Dutch. Hate might be a bit strong but at the least a firey indifference. I don't expect the stereotypical Canadian manners but I've seen so many people use the word tourist like they just smelt something awful.
When I left Canada I had hear about the 'directness' and how that can be misunderstood as rudeness, and I can absolutely see that, but the bulk of what I'm seeing is just plain rudeness.
One thing I will note though is that I see this happening predominantly in the middle age ish bracket. 40-60. Younger people have been generally kind and helpful, older people want to be helpful but the language barrier sometimes gets in the way...but the desire is there.
I've had people roll their eyes at me because I've, very politely and apologeticly, asked to speak English.
The land here is stunning, the architecture is like extended art, and the pure engineering marvels of this country are mind blowing. I have trouble understanding why so many people don't understand why you have tourists. I can't imagine it hurts your economy by any means.
I've also met some really great people here, the service industry leaves something to be desired but there are some people that want to be helpful. It gives me hope that my culture isnt entirely filled with jerks.
i have lived in holland 23 years and have just been crying tonight because i dont want to be here, so often i walk on the street just going from A to B and dutch will openly declare to each other....look, look and then stare at me as i walk by as if they never saw before someone white, cleanly shaven, short hair, normally dressed just walking along minding their own business.....yes, the dutch are so rude and childishly selfish that even after 23 years i still
don't even know how they get along with each other......terrible arrogant bigots
OK, I grew up in the US, living in 4 states and visiting 27 others, left for Holland at 32, and spent 4 years in the UK in the meantime. This gives me a wide base of cultural experience for comparison. The Dutch are indeed rude, on the surface and some deeper. The will stand in your way in the store without acknowledging your existence. Customer service does not exist, until it is your turn, and even then its not a given. I could go on but this has already been quite a dutch bashing feed already. I have seen that once you crack the shell, the dutch are very kind and generous people who genuinely care when the claim to. I have not seen a gun aside from on the police and while growing every year, violent crime is not the issue it is in similar sized cities in the US or other countries. For a small land they are a very productive one and generously donate when there are world disasters etc. They take better care of their poor/sick/elderly than many countries. Frankly given a choice between living with the "rudeness" of the dutch or the crime in the US, I have made my choice clear. I will remain here in Holland, where a harsh word does less damage than a glock....everytime.
Funny... I see a lot of rudeness displayed here. Rudeness the Dutch are accused of even up to racism "go back you your country/Amsterdam", and it is displayed by people who claim not to be Dutch themselves. In addition I notice another thing. Most posts by non Dutch people are anonimous. Most posts by people saying they are Dutch display a name. Now isn't it rude not to introduce yourself when you talk to someone?
When I speak to people about the Netherlands and where they've been, it's often only in Amsterdam and some villages around Amsterdam. In a few occasions they mention Rotterdam and The Hague. And then people claim to know all the Dutch. Well, that's like having been to New York and claiming you know all Americans. Well, it's nice to heard that people from the Big Apple and the average Red Neck share the same values. I've never known that.
Personally I view Amsterdam as a typical non-Dutch city. It's crowded with drug tourists who think that all drugs are legal in the Netherlands (and thus criminals trying to sell drugs) and it's crowded with young arrogant Dutch who just entered their first job, and think they made it all the way. So, though I think it's a nice with very nice places city, I don't like to go there. There are many more nice places in the Netherlands with less rude, and in some areas even kind and helpfull people.
My question is, if you're all mocking the Dutch because of their rudeness, then what are you?
And if you're all sooo annoyed by the Dutch, just go back to where you're from, you won't be missed. :)
15 YEARS IN BENELUX!
Soon leaving for Spain.
Super racist and segregated country.
Bunch of rude inbred cants.
Mega racist country,
Ironic, 2030 all major cities in NL will be majority Islam anyway!
Love how the Dutch on here say go home, we are! we are all going home or moving on to leave you in your own mess.
You are all rude, with the highest rate of incest in the world next to Japan...
Nuff said!
Perhaps you can help enlighten me more. 4 years in and I'm more miserable than ever. I just can not leave. How I wish I could turn back time and have never came here
I too have been bullied terribly by Dutch people in the NL and would still describe my experiences there as traumatic. They really were overruling and very privacy-invading. Most of the Dutch people I encountered tried to be the center of all attention. Not gonna lie, most of the few nice people I did meet were of foreign descent.
The worst part is those mean people were only up to three years older than me or even younger! What gave them the right to rule over me and treat me like an inferior, dumb child. Yet, there's always some good people, there is. But now every time I'm crossing paths with a Dutch person or hear one talk I shudder. I'm like afraid of them, no kidding.
I have been to both Holland and the Dutch Caribbean Islands numerous times and Unfortunately I have to agree with the majority of the comments on here. I see now that I am not the only one who believe Dutch are the rudest most inconsiderate selfish people ever. I am American whom is married to a Dutchman. I didn't realize how much cultural differences make until you have to deal with dealing with a situation like this especially when it involves his family. Yes they are "direct" however when they are called on things, they don't have the courage to own up to their actions and/or comments. They hide behind the excuse that they are only kidding yet not one of them have ever stepped up. So I disagree the comment that the Dutch like directness as they are cowards when asked to back up their statements or comments. As for direct, all cultures can be direct but from what I have seen, I have something called respect for others or couth - I specifically didn't say just couth as I imagine most Dutch reading this would not know what that word meant. One last comment, Imagine my world having a mother-in-law whom is Dutch.... Clearly a situation where the joke Mother-in-Law rearranged also stands for WOMAN HITLER.....unfortunately, it couldn't be further from the truth.
I'm very sorry to say but your well intentioned response is in total violation of the truth. I have lived in the Netherlands for 10 years, I my self of Dutch decent first generation but upon returning I see little if anything to confuse with "accidental " or "misunderstood ".
I am Dutch I agree it's completely rude, arrogant and lazy... fact is it might be a western country but it's economy is far from great. In holland we compare our self as successful in comparison with places such as Romania (which is poor because of circumstances) it would bemore fair to compare ourselves with Switzerland or Austria, in that case no we actually have a bad economie.
Thank-you for setting a prime example
Speaking your mind is a given right. Offending others by rude behaviour is anotherthing altogether . Besides Dutch people in general tend to be open if it's at the expense of others, but adversely about thereselfs
This is nice and all said. Likewise it is just as valid to say the first stone was cast by rude behaviour.
That's well said, however some of the strongest arguments on this forum are from people who have lived in the Netlherlands for excessive amounts of time, in saying I'm sure they met more than just "a few people". In addition some of the complaints come from Dutch people thereselfs and some of the rudest responses posted are by Dutch people. Most of the counter arguments made in fact are written as defence to offence. And I'm quite sure that we didn't all stumble across this forum accidentally. Let alone once again that there is an issue at hand otherwise nobody would of taken the time to write let alone respond to any forum regardless of what.
Easy on, don't give them rope to hang you with. However terminology such as Swamp run through my head often also.. Congratulations to escaping... Wich some of the Dutch posters should also note words such as "If you don't like it leave" are shallow life has some strange twists and turns making it hard to leave even if you dispise your surroundings.
30% ruling
I've lived in The Netherlands for some time now, mostly because the partner I have is Dutch. I'd hoped to move back home and enjoy a much higher quality of life and beautiful weather year round. As it turns out my partner has had excuses for not acquiring the visas to emigrate there, I have the ability to live and work in NL, so his laziness and my settling has kept us here.
It doesn't feel like living, more like existing. The way I behave is to mostly keep to myself, have earphones in always and barely notice anybody. When I go about my way not listening to music I have many people making remarks I'd rather ignore.
A couple of times in the past I made the mistake of answering comments men made (complete strangers) and they became physical. I am a very slim and small woman and am disgusted that any man could turn their anger into abuse. These were small incidents (one didn't like a response and told me to walk on and I said that I will walk where I want. The second called my dog right when I was taking some photographs having the dog leash in my hand. The dog ran towards the man and my shoulder tore. I asked the man to please not do that. He pushed me into a wall and yelled for me to "go and take all my people with me" So tell me then I said, Which people are they? As few people from my country have any reason to move here ever, only multitudes of Dutch moving there, the gross, spitting man in his late 50's could only become more angry at his own ignorance.
Incidents like that colour the years I have lived in the Netherlands and I wish that I could balance out the negative experiences with more positive. I am mostly very bored. Workplaces have been terrible and I have been ostracized and picked on by cowards.
Probably I've allowed myself to become a victim in this society but I feel too down these days to want to experience more here. It seems that in a small land people will do whatever they can to take up space. Being polite towards others will not make them reciprocate. It is a matter of matching people's rudeness or retreating to watch it all and barely interact.
Women boldly stare all the time. It would feel like being under a microscope to the uninitiated. I see it and then look on, I can't be bothered going head to head in a glaring competition with other women but if looks could kill I'd be made dead ten times or more a day. There appears to be a lot of resentment towards people for their difference and I can only see tolerance of Dutch people towards their own kind. They would start at you for having a stain on your sneaker sole yet fail to see the insane disasters their fellow people sport daily in the name of fashion. Animal print (as fluorescent as possible) all summer and animal fur as revolting as possible all winter..
People will cough without covering their mouths and it will often be in order to get your attention as you pass each other if you have not looked at them.
A lot of empty vessels making a lot of noise. Dutch courage is considered a source of pride and best observed and heard Friday nights in bars.
My partner is given respect, I am not, so I encourage him to be assertive for the both of us. At least I know that he won't get beaten, pushed or otherwise encounter physical harm at a moments notice. I am naturally assertive, full of life and fun but that positive side has gone into hiding here. When I have been on vacation and returned to The Netherlands tanned and relaxed, it takes jealous people about a week to have stamped all the happiness away again.
I read a comment once that the form of Dutch humour is schadenfreude and I think I agree with that. Nothing seems to make people happier than see you stuff up, slip or embarrass yourself somehow and all for their sardonically superior amusement.
Dutch are rude and ignorant. Especially the men.They butt in line ,push you aside ,and what they think is honesty is in fact ignorant brain farts /ridiculous outbursts that leave sane ,non dutch,aghast at what came out of their mouths.they have ridiculous merit less prejudices.they believe they are open minded but in reality they are isolated up tight narrow minded Calvinists or whatever their past religious prejudices were in their up bringing.They feel guilt at everything that is good in life and can only allow themselves to feel good when they are drunk or drugged up,pissing on sidewalks.they are unwilling to try any thing new,wether it is food,a different point of view or God forbid ,listening to a woman .the women here behave towards men as a scene from Mad Men.Especially beware of men with long flowing fake blonde shoulder length locks that they shake and pat back constantly as they talk.yuck.
I am incredibly relieved read the above comments. It's rather unfortunate to say the least, but now, I know it's not just my husband and I being paranoid in any way. We have always loved Amsterdam and moved here 5months ago only to find the Dutch people to be the exact opposite of how we initially perceived them, warm and friendly.
Today, I was shouted at by an adult, a grown woman started to scream at me as if I had taken her first born away from her as we decided to swap our seats in a soup shop as we didn't have a table, to two seats with a table, kindly given to us by two tourists as they could see us struggling and they had finished eating.
I got ATTACKED by his woman as she had IN HER MIND, whilst standing in the queue, decided that she wanted those seats so she jumped in front of me and started screaming. "You chose those seats, you are not allowed to change seats!! I want these seats!"
With the look of horror on our faces as well as the lovely tourist couple, I just had to say ok ok ok calm down, calm down.
Didn't realise she was the dictator of seats in this world.
Sadly this is not the first time we have been shouted at whilst trying to have a day out but his is a normal, reoccurrent incident. Part of everyday life.
Direct? You need a reality check! This is lack of any common sense. These people (the screaming sort) are incredibly uncivilised and clearly not very well travelled people as this sort if behaviour would be non existent ANYWHERE else in the world.
Omg agree with the comments about the rudeness! i also spent a lot of time with the Belgian dutch people although flemish...some of their traits were very similar to the nl dutch like EXtreme STINGINESS, being friendly on the surface but very bitchy deep down even bitching about their best friends out of jealousy and the most ridiculous thing-materialism to such a level i cant even describe !!! one guy asked me who was the richest amongst my friends ! like wtf what 25 yeal old doctor asks such immature questions...i was amused by how everything was about MONEY in every single conversation...i hope and i am sure not all the flemish nd dutch are like that jeeez
Rude is rude, whether direct or indirect. I've lived here for 10 years and I am still shocked by the lack of basic warmth, friendliness, courtesy and by the amount of mean assholes per capita. I have indeed met some very nice Dutch people, but even they don't realize how exceptionally rude their society is. And I've heard excuses that it depends where you are, not true. Studied in the south, lived in the north then the Hague, all the same. Like most expats, can't wait to leave, and you just need to step over the border and you feel the difference immediately. Rude, loud, selfish, mean, mean, mean.
There are some very nice Dutch people. But there are Devil's spawn Dutch as well. Avoid the trains, that's where most rude people are in my experience. I live since 2014 here and I go out of my way to avoid Dutch people these days. They go on asking e questions as they assume I am Dutch (based on looks, that's racist!). Once I open my mouth they shrug me off, I guess my Eastern Europeanness means I am below them. What if I go to them an say "Sorry, do yo know... oh never mind, you have blue eyes, bye!" Would that be directness? And have you noticed that they avoid contact with people of colour and Asians, mixed marriages are very uncommon and not the norm as they would let you believe?
Biggest mistake of my life!!!
Maybe self-selection but as a foreigner having lived here for 13 years I have never come across a group of more aggravating, annoying, self-centred, self entitled individuals in my life.
You can open the door for a woman (or a man) and you do not get or very rarely get a thank you- happened many times. You let a car into the traffic- also nada.
I have traveled to many places around the world and never come across such rudeness. I also have never in my entire life had more run-ins, verbal and sometimes border-line physical with a bunch of more disagreeable Europeans in my life.
Wish I could go back home but I reckon the Dutch owe me seeing as they helped place sanctions on my country of birth. Guess that stems from their sense of treating everyone else like they are above reproach.
Spent 20 years in the Netherlands. Partially grew up there. A more mean spirited folk you will not meet. My happiness increased as soon as I left. Other countries actually treated me as equal and fulfil my potential.
The comments from the dutch certain reinforce the fact that they're simply clueless as to how uncivilized they are... I've live all over the world (and here for 6 years) and came here with the idea that the Dutch are the greatest... this is the first country (and I've lived in China, Africa, India, Hong Kong, all over Europe, US... missing South America) where after learning the culture and people I have a total dislike for them (came to China disliking, then learned the culture and came to like them).
Forget this "no, we're just direct" straw man... the Dutch cut in line, gossip and back bite, push, shove and yeah they're culture is different... selfish, rude and arrogant. They have no native word for "excuse me" or "sorry"... language tells you how a group models the world. This is a country that is based on simple-mindedness and greed and that's how they're culture, food (I would never insult the word cuisine) and language have developed.
If you get a group of expats together in Holland they spend most of the time ragging on the various uncivilized ways of the Dutch. And most expats have stopped trying to include Dutch in their friend circles (I no longer will date a Dutch person).
I can go on for pages, but bottom line is if you read/hear a expat speaking well of the Dutch it's because either: 1) They're a rude, uncivilized person themselves so it seems normal... or 2) They're masking the truth to make their lives here tolerable as they don't have the option to not interact with a lot of the local Dutch folks.
The Germans and French get a bad rap for rude thing... in my book when I want to call out someone's horrible behavior (or bad food) I just call it Dutch
Funny thing is I'm an American, but have brown skin... so I get to experience the racism (until they realize I'm American then the tune changes)... If I'm chatting with a stranger out, people assume I sweep streets and basically treat me like s**t until they find out I have a successful company and am in the Dutch 1%... well of course then it's how they can cling on to me (fun to smack them with "I don't deal with Dutch... they're far to racist and intolerant... maybe when your society grows up" and walk away).
They also do love to get in your face and bully... but I'm a body building, kick boxing guy... and so rather than passive-aggressive BS I give them the manners lesson that their parents should have (probably why Dutch kids are the happiest in the world... they get no discipline)... but 10x harder... a smack and suddenly they turn into whinny little princesses.
Just as they went all over the world in the past to "civilize the savages" (more like sell them and make cash)... we expats are here now to do the same with the Dutch...
Of course I blame my country (America)... after WWII we should have let Germany keep the country... the Germans learned their lesson and maybe the Dutch would have followed... as it is they haven't and now we have a country that behaves like a spoiled, bullying brat.
This comment is simply a test to see if the comments section is working. I want to make sure that all approved comments get through.
Michael
I can totally agree with everyone who doesn't like the Dutch. I can't get myself to like them either. It's not even arrogance I would say, they just don't give a shit about you and they really let you know. I mean, I don't really care about strangers either and most people don't. You can't care about anyone and anything. That's normal. But the Dutch literally just couldn't care less about you (if they don't already know you).
A French person might think "My country is the greatest and you can be so happy to be here" but a Dutch person thinks "I don't give a shit about you. I don't want to know anything about you. I don't want to listen to anything you have to say". They are unbelievably selfish and rude.
They are so weird. Even their eyes. They have those creepy soulless eyes. Like they are completely empty inside like sociopaths.
Or do you know a single likeable Dutch football star? They are all pricks if you ask me. Arjen Robben being the prime example.
Why are they like that? Is there something in their water or what? Is it a special climate there? The topology of the country? How do you get to be like that?
Lots of people from many different countries like to nag but for the Dutch nagging is like breathing. They can't live without it. They can't get by if they can't make at least a few snippy comments every day.
At least one thing makes sense to me. That they are so liberal about drugs. That's simply because they don't give a shit about any other person and what this person is doing. That's why weed is legal.
i just escaped to portugal, i am born in holland and lived there 37 miserable years.
The comments above are an awakening to me. the stupid way the dutch defend themselves above with this repetition " but we are good bravoure" is so familiar. Above we are defending our ego against a foreign accusation.
Normally we are busy defending our narcistic ego to other fellow man and looking for the reward we feel in making someone else feel inferiour.
I thought this was nasty human behaviour normal to the human race but your comments give me hope that maybe humans can be different.
it seems to me the dutch are only aware of the material, i dont know if they are aware of what really motivates them..
Is this social prestige, bullying sucking on cowmilk stolen from babycalfs who never see daylight and get slaughtered at 3 months really gratifying?
As they could respond with there straightforwardness " ja hoor, ik vind het wel lekker hoor/ yes i like it
Its so sad to see those modern women with there short hair acting like men joining our competetive ratrace, unconicously they what they rrally want is a strap on dildo and humiliate someone,
I escaped and am never returning to this country of the perverted whom only take pleasure in fullfilling all there senses instantly.
They to me are the most snob negative insincere selfish fucking race i know and i hope not representitive for the rest of the human race.
I think because the weather is bad and not much nature is around so all that gratifys them is bringing material stuff to there small boxes.
And suffer from inferiourity complex cause there parents put them in kindergarten or neglected there needs like there parents needs were neglected once.
Thanks for opening my eyes with your marvolous critique, i hope i can untrain my brain of the inferiourcomplex im infected with and all the humilation and negative energy i had to suck up all my life.
I will commit suicide before i ever step foot on that country again.
Look at our houses, all the same colour brick, same shape next to eachoter. Dont even try to paint it a warm colour you will not get away with it.
And you neighboors are competition you can consider yourselve lucky if they greet you and dont give you the evil eye, let alone get to know you.
i feel the dutch dont have any soul,a cold people amongst whom in the most densly populated countru i gree isolated and lonely, there are aldo good people ofcourse but rare.
Goodbye Den Haag i hope i will suffer memoryloss and forget about you
I'm living for 20 years in the Netherlands. Yes, they are very rude, ARROGANT and RACIST!! I remember when I was about 20 years old I was dancing in a house party, I step accidentally on the foot of a young girl, right away I asked her to excuse me then she replied me: 'WHAT THA F*** YOU NEED TO RESPECT ME I'm DUTCH'. I bought and apartment few years ago in Amsterdam, every time I go out to the roof terrace they gang up together and start to insult me. You will listen also a lot of insults like 'vies migrant' I think it means filthy immigrant. All the love and respect that I had once for the Dutch people is gone long ago, this is why I'm leaving the country. BTW they are very jealous, if you have some success in life do yourself a favor and keep low profile to avoid more hate from them. Thanks god I'm not from any of the minorities because poor dudes they have it really hard.
I'm an American with a family member who married into a Dutch family that moved from Amsterdam 20 or 30 years ago.
This is only one family, but the experiences described in this blog have helped me understand the problems I've had: they talk about themselves, there's NO interest in who I am, or in getting to know me, and they feel free to pass judgement on what I do that's right or wrong (mostly wrong).
The Dutch who live in America would be wise to learn our ways, whether they agree with them or not. The so-called directness is all too often one way, and all too often viewed as rude by the Americans they live amongst.
We don't see each other as rude. We are not offended when someone doesnt like our hair, our bag or calls us a " cheese head ". That's what the political correct and easily offended people on the planet would call a very racist and offending derogatory slur) when used to them / their country / nationality. And of course make a HUGE problem about nothing. Meanwhile we call yourself cheese heads..
The victim mentality and the outrage culture do not help any situation or anyone personal at all. And most certainly not the offended person. It is a choice to give away your power completely and let other people and words decide how you feel.
YOU are respondible for how you feel. If your feelings are hurt because someone was rude to you/ because of a word I think you are emotionally immature. You need to take responsibility for how you feel and react, develop some resiliency, self reliance and a sense of humour.
Or in other words: put on your big boy / girl pants and grow up.
But then again, how mature is a society that connot take ANY form of criticism or even different opinions and just calls EVERYTHING shaming:fat, thin,age,tall shaming... And if your fat because you eat to much and sit on your ass all day long not even your doctor can say it. Because oh no! Fat shaming!
Instead, all responsibility is taken away from the fatass because thin people have thin-privilige...
Seriously? You name every normal discussion impossible LIKE THAT. A society that uses terms like : the n word, the c word etc..
Where not even a news anchor can say the word ( because it was in a news item) and starts to cry when another person just says it, exactly like it actually happened.
To us that behavior is incredibly immature, over emotional, fake and its seen as very unwanted behavior.
This is not kinder garden. Adults don't start to cry because of a word, we don't value those childish and narcissistic traits. Getting triggered is a weakness.
And also don't forget:
That you are offended doesn't mean that it was offensive.
And for the love of God, just say what you want, think, etc. NO ONE has any benefit from by all means, NO matter what, DONT SAY ANYTHING BAD. Instead if be honest and actually communicating.
AND omg... Hahaha : " dutch people ARE SO RUDE!!! SOMEONE GAVE ME HAIR DYE!! "
Calm down, you will be fine.
Maybe who knows, youll get over yourself and see that its very sweet when someone thinks about you and gives you a gift.
Well after living in 6 countries and working in tourism in 3 more plus traveled well ans speaking 6 languages (never dutch the language sound horrible tbh) never seen so arrogant, bigoted, narrow minded entitled bunch of humans. Totally different breed of humans, they should kiss our ass for paying awful taxes andbrents and raising their economy. Also, i am in about 12 expat groups and only in nl expats feeling this way. Dutch are just bunch of useless f***s, also as tourists they are just terrible to have around, dont be delusional
Oh girl, same here, couldn't belittle myself to the point of actually bonding and dating that dutch guy but man, what a bigoted, entitled, arrogant ugly human. Ignoring dutch guys at all, knowing that they've got absolutely nothing to offer except their judgemnt and stinginess (and anger issues)
From eastern europe myself, bri, you just took word out of my mouth, best description of cloggies!
Typical word salad from buttgurt dutchie, you missed the point entirely
I stumbled upon this post.
For many years when discussing travel I have been trying to articulate my very negative experiences with Holland which has sometimes been difficult to people who have not spent any longer than a weekend there.
It is the most hellish place you could live.
I am an empath so I am pretty sensitive to energy and mood which in turn affects the way I feel and behave.
I had some terrible experiences with the Dutch - experiences that go beyond rudeness and into hatred and intentional awkwardness and victimisation. There must be something deeper here, something unexplained as the level they are at is extraordinary.
The issue is at it's worst in the Randstad (between Rotterdam, Amsterdam and Utrecht), and certainly improves the further south you go.
I have a lot of experience in Germany, France, Denmark and Sweden - and this type and level of negative vindictive behaviour is not at all present. In fact I have a love for these other nations but a massive dislike for the Dutch and as a result, also for Holland.
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