Saturday, August 29, 2009

You Know You're Getting Old When . .


  • Midway through "The Maltese Falcon" comes the realization that you have a closer resemblance to Greenstreet than to Bogart.

  • Drugstores possess an odd appeal.

  • Without requesting, you're given the senior discount.

  • The "Early Bird Special" seems like sound scheduling.

  • Your clothes are chosen more for comfort than for style.

  • That Andre Rieu concert is pretty enticing.

  • You use certain set phrases when you can't hear someone.

  • If something rolls under the sofa, you postpone getting it until some day when you're down there.

  • You have to pay attention to what you eat and drink and pillows are a serious subject.

  • Police officers, firefighters, and doctors look very young.

  • You don't recognize any of the celebrities in the gossip columns.

  • You personally knew some of the people that now have buildings and parks named after them.

  • You sense you're beginning to sound like your parents . . and find nothing wrong with that.

  • You realize that adults whom you regarded as old when you were in high school were probably in their late twenties.

  • You think back to your thirties and forties and shake your head at what you didn't know.

  • And you're chilled by how many political leaders are in their thirties and forties.

  • You avoid any movies that have a message.

  • Your newspaper was much better thirty years ago.

  • Elementary school children work with computers but you remember using a Big Chief tablet.

  • There's a Sinatra CD in your car.

  • And Beatles record albums in your garage storage room.

  • You're noticing a lot more tail-gaters on the road.

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