Saturday, November 26, 2011

Imaginary Advice

From a traffic safety instructor:

"Never use your turn signals. I can't for the life of me figure out why they put them on automobiles. Make a habit of tailgating, even if there is an open lane for passing. Honk at anyone who displeases you. They'll appreciate the correction and all of them are even-tempered. Drive at least 15 or 20 miles above the speed limit and regard Stop signs as a suggestion. Use your cell phone while driving and be sure to text-message to keep from being bored. Unless someone is directly in front of you, change lanes frequently and be sure to look at your passengers when speaking to them. You don't want to be rude."

1 Comments:

At 8:09 AM, Anonymous CincyCat said...

One more: If there are three or four drops of rain (or flakes of snow), be sure to immediately slam on your brakes and drive at least 25 miles under the speed limit. It is most preferable to do this in the left-most lane of the highway. At rush hour.

 

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