Saturday, October 25, 2008

Nature Channel at the Gym

The gym is open 24 hours a day causing it to resemble one of those Nature Channel films on Africa.

Most of the animals are out between noon and 8 p.m. After that, the herd thins out, possibly because the buff type are off to various watering holes.

As midnight approaches, the older animals arrive to join the remaining younger members. The young ones head for the machines, with the females choosing the treadmills and stairclimbers - it's easy to check out others from a stairclimber - and the young males moving to the weight lifting area so they can pump iron while being watched by the females on the stairclimbers.

The pool becomes geezer territory. No aerobics here. The lap swimmers take over. Most of them look like they remember Harry Truman. A few look like Harry Truman. As age increases, the waist band of the swimming trunks moves up toward the armpits. For the most part, the old crocs are better swimmers than the young otters, who splash about like shark attack victims.

Which creatures are the most fit? There's no contest at all. It's the staff.

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