Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Neck Tie Translation Guide

Loud colors: Used-car sales rep or talk radio host.

Tie-dyed: Former hippie, head of the Sociology Department, or both.

Harvard crests: Didn't go to Harvard.

Regimental stripes: Probably not a member of the regiment.

Large picture of trout with hook in its mouth: The only tie in the wearer's closet.

Red tie, 1970: The Power Tie.

Red tie, 1980: The Wish I Had Power Tie.

Pink tie: Donald Trump.

Yellow tie: The wearer's profession has something to do with serious money.

Tie with plastic pull-down protector to prevent stains: The wearer's profession has nothing to do with serious money.

Black tie with black shirt: Comedian.

White tie with black shirt: Sopranos wannabe.

Bow tie: George F. Will.

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